Upon Reflection
by RobinxRaven writer
Summary: Robin's been avoiding Raven lately, but she isn't sure why. She finally gets him to talk, but he ends up revealing something she didn't expect.


"Robin, come watch TV with me." It was such a simple request, yet it scared him no less.

In the back of his mind, he was noting that it was strange that Raven was the one who wanted to watch TV, but the thought quickly went away. His mind went instead to the more important matter: what he'd say as a response. There were of course only two options: yes or no. Logically, he didn't have a reason to turn down her request. Team exercises had finished in the morning, he'd finished his own personal workout over six hours ago, as well as any lingering paperwork from the most recent villain attack. He'd been here in the common room playing games with Beastboy, down in the tech lab working with Cyborg, up on the roof talking with Starfire… now that the day was winding down to a close, there was only one person he had yet to spend any extensive amount of time with.

Of course to any outside observer this wouldn't be unusual. Robin hadn't been spending _any_ extensive amount of time with Raven for almost a month and a half now. The reason for that he hadn't told anyone, and it would be nearly impossible for anyone to guess why. Of course it helped that Raven was a quiet person by nature, and that she and Robin would normally interact with one another away from the others, so the odds of their friends determining the reason why he was distancing himself from Raven would be almost zero. And yes, it was reason, not reasons.

When the incident with Adonis and the chemicals that made Beastboy temporarily lose control came to pass, Robin realized that his feelings for Raven ran far, _far_ deeper than mere friendship.

It only took the fear of losing her to make him realize that he loved her. Actually, it was when she went missing from the Tower that night that he labeled his feelings as "love". Before that, they'd simply been actions he'd done: giving Raven his full attention when she talked, giving her space when she asked for it, keeping her company during the boring, mindless chores that they all had to do, subtly trying to convince the other three to do something he hoped she would enjoy… he'd done all this before for her because he cared about her, because he wanted her to be happy, because he valued her happiness over his - but he'd never stopped to consider that he was in love with her. Not until she was almost taken away.

That night, when he heard her scream echo throughout the Tower, his blood had frozen. He dropped everything, running to her room to make sure she was okay - only to find her room trashed, and that she and Beastboy were both missing. As they went into the city to search for them, he could feel the cold sweat forming on his brow, and if his hands weren't on the handlebars of his bike he was sure they'd be shaking. His only thought was, _"Please let her be safe, please let her be safe, please let her be safe…"_ and when he found the scarp of her cloak hanging on the fence, he felt his stomach drop.

Robin swallowed hard, and the fear was replaced with anger and determination. He _would_ find her, and he _would_ make sure she was okay - no matter what. He tried to keep a level head as they split up to search for them (right now he was only looking for Raven), because he'd heard time and again from the empath that emotions cloud judgement and make things more difficult than they have to be. But when they found Beastboy holding Raven's limp body between his fangs, he'd lost all composure and ordered the attack. Acting on impulse had almost gotten himself injured too, but that didn't matter to him. His mind was blank save for the will of keeping Raven safe.

Once they'd finally subdued Beastboy and brought him and Raven back to the med-lab, he'd regained his composure. At least, as much as he was able to. The sight of Raven, covered in scratches and bruises with her eyes shut and almost completely motionless aside from the gentle rise and dip of her body due to her floating while she healed, certainly tested his limits and put a newfound pressure on him.

Then Beastboy woke up, and he really had to force himself to remain calm. He could feel his anger (because Raven had been hurt by his friend) and his confusion (why would Beastboy do something like this?) trying to snap his resolve, but he held back. Just barely, because Raven was just barely alive too, which gave him the strength he needed. _"If you can't remember, I have to assume the worst. I have to put you in jail. You need to remember!"_ He knew that taking his anger out on Beastboy by threatening him wasn't right, but at the time the evidence had been pretty cut and dry to everyone, not just him.

Beastboy had been getting more and more prone to violence, and they'd found him and Raven arguing to the point that Beastboy was almost about to attack her in the hallway. Then the two had disappeared, only to be found with Raven in critical condition and Beastboy seemingly responsible. Robin's theory was only strengthened when Beastboy had attacked everyone in the sewers.

Then Beastboy had transformed again in the med-lab, attacking everyone and charging at Raven. He put himself between them, despite seeing the two physically stronger Cyborg and Starfire get knocked around like ragdolls.

" _Leave her alone!"_

That was the moment he realized his feelings. Because in hindsight, it was the moment where he'd realized that he put his life on the line to protect Raven no matter what, without any hesitation or any second thoughts. _"She's more important. She's all that matters."_ Was the only thing going through his head. Everything else he'd felt throughout the night fell into place around that, and time seemed to stop as he swore to himself, _"I love her, I'll protect her no matter what."_

Once they'd found out the truth and put Adonis away, they rushed back to the Tower to check on Raven.

When he saw that she was awake, he was so elated and happy that he'd ran forward and hugged her the moment he lay eyes on her.

But… she hadn't returned the gesture. She hadn't lifted her arms or said something cliche like, "I'm glad to see you too." Raven had just stood motionless until he pulled back, then looked at him… cautiously. Or nervously, or curiously. He still wasn't sure, even when he replayed the memory over in his head. All he could be sure of was Raven's stillness, that odd look she'd given him, and his own thoughts and feelings.

When he'd pulled away and received that look, several things had popped into his mind.

The first was the remembrance that she was an empath. She might've been reading him right then and there, and realized that he loved her. The second one was the mental bond they shared. It was hard for Robin to feel it unless he really focused on it, and even then he received only vague thoughts and emotions from her. But for Raven, whose natural magic ability leant itself well to reading others, including their emotions, it was almost certainly a door into his innermost mind. Even if she didn't realize how he felt with her empathic abilities, it was almost certain that she'd know now. And the third was a simple, powerful thought: Even though _he_ might've realized the depth of his feelings for Raven, that didn't mean she reciprocated them.

And that final thought was so troubling that being asked to watch TV with her had suddenly become a much more difficult choice to make.

" _What am I supposed to do? I can't just… not love her. But I'm afraid of losing her friendship. I can deal with not being loved, but I don't want to lose her completely if she doesn't feel the same."_

This dilemma had come up almost everytime he'd been alone with Raven. If she didn't already know thanks to the aforementioned empath and bond combination, he'd do _something_ to give his true feelings away, intentionally or not. Suddenly honest compliments and small, innocent gestures seemed to carry more weight than they should have, and he was sure he'd never been so self conscious before than when he was with Raven.

He turned around from the kitchen cabinets and saw that she was standing just beyond the little island counter. She looked relaxed, but not like she'd been meditating or had just woken up from a nap. Her weight was on her right leg, and her hand was on her hip. Her hood was down, and her eyes stayed on his, not narrowed or looking around the room.

Robin's heart, the stupid thing, told his head to nod and made his feet move to follow her to the couch. He wanted to make up a lame excuse and leave the room, but ultimately couldn't think of anything believable. That was in no small part to the small smile she'd given him - the smile that took his breath away and would never fail to make him smile, too. But when they sat down on the couch, he made sure to leave some space between them. He was alone with her, which meant he was hyper-aware of everything he was doing. His heart may have told him to move closer, but his over-analytical brain told him that even the simple act of sitting too close may give him away.

The TV turned on, but Robin wasn't watching, he was looking past it while his mind ran at a thousand miles a minute to keep himself from feeling anything Raven might pick up on. Of course, he didn't stop to think she might pick up on his inner turmoil, too. Not until she asked, "You okay? You're giving off… weird vibes." How he managed to solve crimes when he lacked basic common sense was yet another thing that was beyond him.

He turned to her and saw that a single fine brow was raised in concern. "I'm fine." He lied as he turned back towards the TV. Now he was trying to stop himself from feeling any emotion at all. His lips pursed together in a frown, and his brow furrowed as he tried to get a hold of himself. Had a silence between him and her ever been this uncomfortable.

"No, something's definitely wrong."

Robin jumped slightly; he hadn't even noticed that Raven had closed the distance between them and was now staring a hole into the side of his head. "I'm fine, Raven, really." He swallowed, and hoped she didn't notice.

"Hmm…" She put a hand over her mouth and leaned forward a little, forcing Robin to lean back a little.

He could see the rise and fall of her shoulders in the fading twilight coming through the windows as she breathed, could see the slight way her eyes shifted between his, and for the life of him, he couldn't look away. Raven had always been attractive in his eyes, and the fact that she wasn't a vain person and didn't care about her looks only added a natural beauty to her, one that captivated him and stopped his brain from thinking.

"Nope, something's bothering you. Aaaand… it's got something to do with… me?" She mumbled slowly as she leaned back and let Robin sit up straight.

" _What is this?!"_ He screamed to himself.

"It's nothing, Raven." He said quickly. He was starting to wonder if he'd been trapped, because it was starting to look like there was no way out of this. "Besides, you shouldn't read me without permission." He went on the defensive, knowing that this could turn sour but hoping to save himself regardless.

Raven rolled her eyes. "Obviously it's not "nothing" otherwise you wouldn't be acting so strange." She crossed her arms over her chest. "And the only reason I read you was because you get like this everytime you're around me." Raven sighed. "What's wrong, Robin? Let me help you."

His heart was vying for control of his body again, and he quickly muttered, "Raven… I-I can't…" He forced himself to look away, and it took all he had to stand up.

He got all of one and a half steps away before he heard Raven say. "And there you go again, blowing me off for no reason."

The hint of sadness in her tone didn't escape his notice, and he felt his heartstrings pulled at him, making him turn around to face her.

She was frowning now, her shoulders squared and her eyes narrowed at him. "You know, if you don't want to be my friend anymore, you could at least give a damn good reason why!" She growled, clenching her jaw in anger. She sat perfectly still as she waited for his response.

" _Great. I was afraid of losing her friendship if I told her how I felt, but now I'll lose her friendship if I don't tell her."_

Sensing that he was screwed either way, he sat back down beside her and pulled his gloves off. Raven turned so she was facing more toward him, and placed her hands in his when he offered them to her.

Robin took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, letting his eyes drift shut. There was no way he could tell her; even if he had rehearsed a speech, he'd still get nervous and mess it up somehow. And that was assuming words could do his feelings justice. All he could do was hope that letting Raven read him without a filter on would clue her in as to what was going on, why he was avoiding her, and why he hadn't told her sooner.

He focused all of his thoughts on Raven; what she did that made him happy, how he worried about her during battle or when she went off alone, the times he'd heard her laugh or laughed because of her, all the times she'd distracted him simply by being in the same room (sometimes she didn't have to be near him to make him stop and think about her), how afraid he felt when he thought he'd lost her, how he wanted so badly to tell her the truth and how he cherished her too much to risk jeopardizing what they already had, and even this moment right now, how warm her hands felt in his, the light that tingle that ran up his arms, and how even though he was afraid of a possible negative reaction, the knowledge that deep down he wouldn't have shared this with anyone else aside from her.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Robin opened his eyes and look up at Raven.

Judging by the colour dusting her cheeks and the shocked expression, he was sure she'd gotten the message. Whether she'd seen actual moments from his perspective or had simply felt the intensity of his emotions he wasn't sure, but ultimately it didn't matter. There was nothing hidden now, and the only thing he could do was wait for her response. He kept his hands deathly still against hers, made sure his expression was even and that his eyes never left hers, despite the mask.

Raven started leaning back. "Ah- I-I…" She managed to stutter out, something so out of character for her that Robin let his head sink as despair overcame him. He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to gently pull his hands back from hers so he could cut his losses before things went even further. He gave a weak tug, but Raven's fingers tightened around his, preventing him from moving. He looked up at her and when they made eye contact she said, "I didn't know that you… I mean, I suspected after the incident with Beastboy, but I wasn't sure, and you kept avoiding me so I could never find out, and now-"

"Raven?" He cut her off, his voice barely above a whisper. He didn't say anything else; he hoped he didn't have to. Robin just tilted his almost imperceptibly, asking silently what her response was. He blinked when his vision was suddenly clouded with darkness, then blinked again when he saw that Raven had used her magic to pull his mask off.

"Thank you." She said quietly.

Robin frowned slightly in confusion. "For what?"

"For being honest with me." Raven smiled at him, smiled so wide that Robin felt his heart leap in his chest and he smiled back. "You could have just _told_ me how you felt." She said, her voice taking a slightly teasing tone. "But you showed me instead, and you let me experience what your love for me is like from your perspective. And being an empath, that means more to me than you can you ever imagine." She let go of his hands, but immediately pulled him into a hug immediately after.

He was stunned and didn't move at first, but then Raven spoke again, her voice a murmur. "I'm not good with showing my emotions. It'll… be difficult, but if you feel this way about me… I'm willing to give it a chance."

Robin turned his head slightly toward her, and she pulled back enough to look him in the eyes, keeping her arms on his shoulders. "You…"

Raven raised a brow as a smirk graced her features. "My feelings may not be quite as deep as yours, but they're there."

For once, Raven reciprocated _his_ smile and leaned into his embrace when he pulled her back into the hug, and Robin wondered why he'd never felt so complete before in his life than he did in that moment, with Raven in his arms.

~The End~

A/N

Kind of rushed and could be polished in some area's, but I'm okay with this the way it is now.

Robin's going to have a rough time of it when they get to season four. Just kidding there is no chapter two WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB


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